“Mom, I like a guy”
I begin my rant in a way too casual manner with my best friend, my mother. She, in her own, patent-worthy,cool-dude like demeanor, enquires about him and his career and family. I lighten up and blabber everything out in a jiffy and hang up the phone. There you go. I am the happiest person on this whole wide Earth and I feel happy to have emptied my heart out to her and gotten her “approval”. Or rather attention, I should say.
This kind of conversations are too common in many households these days. With the advent of everything that might be cursed as ” modern” and “unnecessary” by folks, having a boyfriend or a girlfriend has become a matter of great inevitability. It has become a symbol of one’s own status in their peer group. Since it has become a part of the lifestyle of today’s teenagers, parents and elder siblings could do well to be equipped with the necessary tips and tricks to handle it.
Firstly, when he or she breaks the news to you on their own initiative, be happy that he or she trusts you with something that means a lot to them. Listen to the story patiently. By patiently, I mean real patiently. Reserve your doubts and questions for the question hour after the story telling session. Do not interrupt her ( I take the liberty of assuming the child to be a girl ) when she goes on an on about her “Prince charming”.
After the session is done just keep calm and ask your doubts and queries in a low profile manner. Just ask questions and doubts. Do not ever opine or form any judgement or conclusion about the relationship under question. Try to get answers for your questions. Remember that the more logical and reasonable your questions are, the more illogical and unreasonable her answer is going to be. Can’t blame them. Its teenage. Its the hormones speaking and not your child.
After the doubt clarifying session, just forget that this conversation ever happened with her. By this , I mean to say, put it low. Do not create a scene or make a big deal out of it. Give a picture to her as if you are least bothered about her ” Prince charming” as of now and go about doing your regular chores. Do not bring this topic up with her on your own and even if she brings it up, just acknowledge it as if she was talking about something very trivial and move on. This will definitely create an impression of safety in her mind and it will slowly and gradually kill her excitement in pursuing it.
A very important thing to do here is to honour your word to your child. If she tells you not to tell your partner about this then do not divulge it unless you are damn sure that your partner is a good actor and will act in a very normal manner around her. If that’s not the case, do not share this with anybody. This is where your amnesia becomes really helpful. Conveniently forget this. This will in fact boost the confidence in the child’s mind and will encourage her to share more with you. She will start confiding in you which actually would be of great help.
Keep a close eye on her. Be curious but not suspicious. Always remember that the more strict and rigid you become the more rebellious the child is gonna be. So be shrewd and alert. Have full trust on her. But do not excuse yourself from being watchful. Be friendly yet be firm. Let her understand that you will not take in nonsense from her. She will gradually grow out of it in time. All those cards and gifts and love letters that she gets from her guy could be saved for future laughs.( Just a lil pointer)
The bond between a teenager and her parent or elder sibling is so fragile. One wrong step and its gonna be way too difficult to repair it. So we better be equipped with all sorts of new strategies to help them transit through this phase easily because it is really not their fault here. The more we update ourselves the more better it is going to be.