To You, From Your Girl

Heya Honeybunch!

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I love you.

You might be wondering why I am telling this to you right now. Let me tell you why. It is because I do love you and will always do. It might be a month or two since we ended things but that impact is still fresh and alive in me. I can’t still believe that it is over but hey! love never ends. So I have decided to confess everything that I had felt for you, including what I may have  told and things that I may have not told you explicitly.

We found each other when Chennai was reeling under floods and hit it off in a matter of days. I never knew then that this would mean so much to me. Never did I think that we would come so far and then become strangers again. It all happened like a hurricane. Quick and devastatingly fast.

You were everything that I had ever dreamt of in a guy. Smart, funny, handsome, sarcastic, caring, everything and I know I was like that for you too. I saw you getting more and more comfortable with me, shedding your inhibitions ,opening your heart and baring your soul to me. I loved you with all I had then.

You took me to dinners and dates and made me feel all special and pampered. It was all strange for me,yet I enjoyed those moments completely. You stood by me when I was having a tough time in my career and pumped my hopes up when I was on the verge of giving up everything. You made me stay when all I wanted to do was leave and let everything go. I love you for that honey!

I remember every small detail that we had spoken over those midnight-untimely phone-calls. Everything from the economic recession to the name of our dog, all of it was out in the open. I admired you each moment we were together. Oh Yes! I altered my lifestyle for the better to make myself ready to be your companion of sorts. Heck, I even ended up googling about food and other cultural traits that were prominent in the region where you came from. I loved you so much!

I started seeing my future with you, albeit with a lot of hesitation. I had a colorful past of which you were never bothered. “Present is all that matters” ,you had said. I took it as a sign and went on dreaming our life, without even noticing how “my” had suddenly transformed to the most beautiful word,”our”. I loved “us”!

All of a sudden my world came crashing down to earth over a cuppa coffee. Oh! You remembered that I was fond of coffee, even though you knew that this time it was going to be the symbol of misery for me at that point. I never asked you the reason behind that. I will never want to know. I will not want to shatter those images of “us” that I had together drawn. Yes, I still loved “us”!

Now, it has been quite a while since that day and I still love my coffee. I do see you being happy in your own world and space and am proud of the way you have carried yourself all through this. I still believe that you were in love with me, just the way I was with you. I still am the same crazy-obnoxious girl, who is much fitter and probably much mature than who I was when we had met. You have given me reasons to practise the art of acceptance in life and not get scared to love anybody. I love you!

Don’t you want to ask me if I have moved on?

Well, May be. But you will always be that one person whom I would love to love and love to give second,third or innumerable shots at. Love is so much abstract. It comes with no reason. I saw that in “us” and I still am seeing that. You gave me hope and inspired me to be a better version of myself. I love you!

Baby, listen. I love you with my entire soul and would have been insanely happy if we had gotten together and grown old.I do understand that how much ever we try, certain things that are not meant to be, will never happen,ever. But, sweetheart, I do love you and I hope you know that.

Your Ever Loving,

Sweetheart.

*Written for “Write a love letter campaign by Chennai Bloggers Club”.

*Please do visit http://chennaibloggers.in/ 

*Image Source-Google

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Passing Cloud

Anna, Oru Nungambakkam Return kudunga,

She said.

Grabbing the ticket she dashed to the nearest escalator onto the platform. For a moment she got confused if it was the right direction that she was walking to and asked the man walking near her.

Amam ma. Indha platform than, He said.

Relieved, she wiped the tiny sweat beads that had formed on her forehead with her stole and reached the platform only to see the train already there. Running towards the train, muttering a small prayer in her breath, she got into a general compartment, which was a departure from the usual Ladies one that she boards.

This has been the routine for her for the past two months. Her life has been filled with train timings and bus routes now that Intra-city travel is a habit for her. She had grown to love it since she was the kind of person who likes her space and would be happy in her own world. She liked observing people and may be spinning imaginatory stories about them in her head.Today was just another day for her. Another day of reaching on time and getting back home at a decent time in the evening.

She boarded the General compartment and stood a little inside and fumbled her bag for her earphones. Listening to music has become a Fad these days. Everybody seems to have some song or the other plugged into their ears all the time. Even when walking on the road, crossing a traffic laden junction, commuting by buses or trains and what the heck, even when riding Two-Wheelers. She was no exception to this. Just that her Fad had begun much much earlier than the city of Chennai had adopted this as a habit.

Thuli thuli thuli mazhaiyai vandhaale…. Chuda chuda chuda maraindhe ponaale…

While the song played through the speakers, her eyes gazed out to the vast beach that was fleeting past her now. She longed to go there and while away her time. Sadly, the only thing that stood between her and her wish was the blasting Sun that was over the city. Sighing she turned to look inside the compartment. It was then that her eyes struck at something. Oh wait! Somebody.

Tall and wheatish, dressed in crisp formals and adoring geeky glasses that suited his face perfectly, there was a stranger who looked classy. She continued her observation of him. Everything about him was attractive. His backpack, the way he stood still reading something on his phone, his slightly careless demeanor, the roughly combed hair, the perfect stubble, everything. She was thankful that he was busy with his phone. She could not look at him more if he looks up from his phone, sheesh ! That would be embarrassing, she thought.

The more she looked at him, the more she wanted to start a conversation with him. It felt as if he was a long-lost friend. Sadly, she had to be satisfied with mere staring at him from a couple of grilled meshes apart. It did give her a strange pleasure. She made sure to steal a few more glances at him.

Halfway through a dozen times of looking at him, she found him looking back at her, in the same subtle manner she was doing. This happened twice or thrice. Her playlist blared another breezy song and her lips curled to a light smile at the corners. She noticed him about to smile too, may be understanding the reason behind her smile.

She felt comfortable. She felt happy. She felt awesome, just looking at him, fully knowing that he was a stranger and that they were never going to meet.

“Next Station, Chennai Fort”

Sounded the pre-recorded voice of a lady.

The train came to a halt and she alighted and so did he. In the haste of a moment to check if her belongings were safe, she had forgotten about him. Once set, she turned back to see if he was there, only to see a sea of human heads, rushing for their livelihood.

Such is the magic of every day.

 

Lost and Found

Their eyes met. Two pairs of eyes that had a beautiful bond years ago. Eyes that had spoken so many silent words with each other. Eyes that had promised to be there for each other for ever and ever. 

Each pair had hundreds of thoughts. One was of questions and the other pair was of explanations and justifications for the deed. 

He was happy to see her. He had been worried if she would be okay. Despite that he had had to take the decision because, to him,it was for the best in the long run. It was an exhilarating moment for him to see her now. She was finally there, at his place. So near, yet so far. Separated by ten feet yet feeling ages apart. She seemed more beautiful than he had ever known her. She seemed so much better in physique and also in spirit. Her contentment was reflecting out of her skin like an aura. She looked like the personification of brilliance. 

His eyes had given it away. She knew he was delighted to see her. She understood that how much worried he was about her well-being. She realised that it was for the good and how hard it might have been for him to break away. She felt different, all of a sudden. She felt at peace. All her restlessness and curiosity gone,in a matter of moments. She found her mind to be at peace. To her, he would always be special. To her,he would always be the man whom she had loved unconditionally. To her, he would always be the person who taught her volumes about the harsh realities of the world in the shortest possible time. 

He walked up to her, with a certain bounce to his steps. He couldn’t stop looking at her. He seemed to be attracted to this “new” her. He seemed to like her even more now , than he had three years back. She knew it all. It was like one of those symphonies between them. Absolutely musical without exchange of words. They were thankful for that strange absence of syllables between them. Somewhere in the bottom of their heart, they knew that speaking out would screw things up. Silence was magical, they thought. 

There felt a sudden urge to hold hands for that would make up for the loss of three years. There still was hesitation, for neither knew how this would end. She wanted a solid future, he wanted his present. That was the conflict. 

She retracted back, not wanting to slip again. “Not anymore” , she thought. She walked back with a jubilant satisfaction in her and with a giant shine in her eyes. She had gotten her answers. She looked up at the sky and sent her prayers. 

He stood there, lost. He had never admired her like this before. He had never fallen for her like this ever before. He knew he wasn’t going to live happily after catching a glimpse of her like this. He wanted to reach out to her. He wanted her so badly in his life that he was willing to follow her like her  shadow. He stood there,stunned, his gaze following her trail and his senses following the fragrance that she had left behind.

Happy 25!!!!!

Love is not about meeting the right person. It is about being with that person till the very end.

Have I been in love? May be. Have I seen people who are in love? A much more sure type of “May be”. Have I seen people who stay with that person because of love? Yes. A resounding yes. Those “people” would be my parents. To think and realise that they celebrate their silver jubilee anniversary this year is amazing.

I have seen them both at their best and also at their worst. I have seen them squabble and make me hate the entire universe, and I have also had my own share of “Awwww” moments seeing them together. It is that love and commitment that makes up for all those slight imperfections. I learn from them every day. Every moment with them is a life lesson for me.

Marriage is not about the glitz and glamour that comes with it. It is about the life after that as a couple. It is not easy to keep holding hands even when one’s world is falling apart. Marriage makes us do that, precisely.

To quote one of my favourite character from a TV show,

“In my life, if I am half happy as you guys are in your marriage, I will consider myself lucky”.

Yes, Appa and Amma, you may not be the perfect couple for the world, but then you are perfect for each other and that’s what matters more.

Happy Happy Wedding anniversary to you both and We all wish you guys hit a half century soon 😉

I feel so overwhelmed that it is hard to get words out of me right now. So you know what I did? I tried taking some of your pictures and also get a few people to talk of you both. I hope you are surprised enough!

 

 

 

Arjun Comment

 

A few pictures for you to reminisce about the years you both have held each other 🙂

 

 

Love you loads 🙂