I love you.
You might be wondering why I am telling this to you right now. Let me tell you why. It is because I do love you and will always do. It might be a month or two since we ended things but that impact is still fresh and alive in me. I can’t still believe that it is over but hey! love never ends. So I have decided to confess everything that I had felt for you, including what I may have told and things that I may have not told you explicitly.
We found each other when Chennai was reeling under floods and hit it off in a matter of days. I never knew then that this would mean so much to me. Never did I think that we would come so far and then become strangers again. It all happened like a hurricane. Quick and devastatingly fast.
You were everything that I had ever dreamt of in a guy. Smart, funny, handsome, sarcastic, caring, everything and I know I was like that for you too. I saw you getting more and more comfortable with me, shedding your inhibitions ,opening your heart and baring your soul to me. I loved you with all I had then.
You took me to dinners and dates and made me feel all special and pampered. It was all strange for me,yet I enjoyed those moments completely. You stood by me when I was having a tough time in my career and pumped my hopes up when I was on the verge of giving up everything. You made me stay when all I wanted to do was leave and let everything go. I love you for that honey!
I remember every small detail that we had spoken over those midnight-untimely phone-calls. Everything from the economic recession to the name of our dog, all of it was out in the open. I admired you each moment we were together. Oh Yes! I altered my lifestyle for the better to make myself ready to be your companion of sorts. Heck, I even ended up googling about food and other cultural traits that were prominent in the region where you came from. I loved you so much!
I started seeing my future with you, albeit with a lot of hesitation. I had a colorful past of which you were never bothered. “Present is all that matters” ,you had said. I took it as a sign and went on dreaming our life, without even noticing how “my” had suddenly transformed to the most beautiful word,”our”. I loved “us”!
All of a sudden my world came crashing down to earth over a cuppa coffee. Oh! You remembered that I was fond of coffee, even though you knew that this time it was going to be the symbol of misery for me at that point. I never asked you the reason behind that. I will never want to know. I will not want to shatter those images of “us” that I had together drawn. Yes, I still loved “us”!
Now, it has been quite a while since that day and I still love my coffee. I do see you being happy in your own world and space and am proud of the way you have carried yourself all through this. I still believe that you were in love with me, just the way I was with you. I still am the same crazy-obnoxious girl, who is much fitter and probably much mature than who I was when we had met. You have given me reasons to practise the art of acceptance in life and not get scared to love anybody. I love you!
Don’t you want to ask me if I have moved on?
Well, May be. But you will always be that one person whom I would love to love and love to give second,third or innumerable shots at. Love is so much abstract. It comes with no reason. I saw that in “us” and I still am seeing that. You gave me hope and inspired me to be a better version of myself. I love you!
Baby, listen. I love you with my entire soul and would have been insanely happy if we had gotten together and grown old.I do understand that how much ever we try, certain things that are not meant to be, will never happen,ever. But, sweetheart, I do love you and I hope you know that.
Your Ever Loving,
*Written for “Write a love letter campaign by Chennai Bloggers Club”.
*Please do visit http://chennaibloggers.in/