Being left to live alone creates a big impact on one’s own thoughts and values. The alone time gives the ambiance to revisit all those wonderful times one would have spent with her family. It teaches the value of a person in one’s life and also brings our attention to all those small gestures that go a long way in making or breaking a relationship.
I grew up in a very loving and close knit nuclear family. I have been staying outside home for about 8 years now and I remember myself going through a plethora of emotions all these years. Happy, sad, restless, confused, annoyed, jubilant etc, you name it I swear I have had it. The new-found freedom from parents’ watch and the new people around made me go crazy. I am not ashamed to say that I have had my own pitfalls and may-be a lot more “close-shaves” . I have learnt to take care of myself quite well.
It was during one of my Coffee-influenced-evening-musings that I started reminiscing about all those beautiful days. I still remember many of my fights and disagreements with both my parents- individually and also together. I remember many small loving gestures that were generously sprinkled all along my days with them. Those lovely signs continue till day.
It has been our family tradition to have dinner together. All four of us, no compromises there unless Appa is travelling somewhere. Otherwise, be it my exams, my brother’s tantrums, my Amma’s fatigue, dinnertime was always family time. Some how that has become a habit for us. We wait till all of us arrive from wherever they are held up. We don’t really care about how hot the food is or if the food is leftovers from the afternoon’s lunch. All that we care about is that together we eat. Period.
Similarly, Appa and Amma make it a point to have their morning coffee together. It has been 25 years that they are married now and not once in my memory have I seen them have their coffees alone. Amma loves Jasmine flowers and Appa still buys a Mozham of Malli poo everyday for her. This also has been happening since I can remember. I mean, these are all small things, to be honest. But these go a long way in conveying messages than words will ever do.
From the time I was a baby, I always gave the first bite of any delicacy or eatable/beverage that I laid my hands on, to Appa. This came out from the fact that I had no sibling then to share anything and Amma and Appa were particular that I be inculcated with the habit of sharing things with others first. This habit continues till date. If I am home and I get something to eat/drink, I give the first bite to Appa ( not Amma, which I still don’t know why).I am 24, for God’s sake, but I adore that look in his face when I do this. Appas are the real babies in this world, you know. They are just too cute.
When I visit home, I used to take the Vaigai Express from Chennai which reaches Madurai at around 9 PM. We then have dinner together and Amma and I would sit for our chit-chat which goes on until 1 AM. She is a working woman and she has had a long day by then, but still she sits with to talk about the most boring stuff ever or some random jibber-jabber that I am well-known for.
Sitting alone in a huge flat, with nobody to care about you makes a person realize the importance of all these small things. It makes me realize how blessed I am and sets a higher benchmark for me to make up to when I get my own family and all.
Many a times we think materials bring happiness. Nope. We could not be more wrong or more shallow. A word of appreciation, a token of love and mere presence is what gives true happiness.
Where the heart is content, nothing seems impossible.