Bajji Sojji

What happens when the Guy and the Girl meet for the first ever time, surrounded by their parents and relatives?

Is it that easy?

Read on to find it out 😉

BLIND MAN'S BLUFF

Hello all. I am Megha, a girl in her twenties who is on the cusp of falling into the trap of marriage. Given below is a slice of my life from somewhere into my future. The scenario here is the “ponnu paakurathu”, or as I would like to call it “Adult-approved sight adiching”. When I say future, it includes all possible permutations and combinations that could happen. So with the usual caveats, read on.

Hi. If you are here then you know who I am. As my fellow writer (remove this fellow-writer nonsense, will you?) Megha explained, this is our take on a not-so-hypothetical scenario and we believe we speak for all the guys and girls from Tamil Nadu when we illustrate what goes on our minds. Throughout this post my thoughts (mind voice for the people back home) will be typed like this and Megha’s will be typed like…

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The Tambrahm Heartbreak

As I sit down to write this post, I smile the widest smile with a slight wickedness lurking somewhere at the corners of my lips. Oh! I am gonna be mercilessly teased after this post by my friends. I am referring to a very practical scenario, which has the potential to shatter blooming relationships. This aspect is actually the worst fear in every Tambrahm girl or guy. The fear that our crushes and/or lovers being from the same gotram or star.

The problem of same gotram is chronic that our adorable pullais and ponkondhais definitely pray for this to not happen. Generally, we are not allowed to marry within the same gotram, the reason being, people of the same gotram are considered to be siblings. Although there are adequate loopholes to work around this glitch, people don’t prefer to get into such muddle.

Scene-1

Friend (Guy)- *Moping about his “love failure” to me* Meg, how much ever you thrash me with your words, you will never understand the love I have for her.

Me- *All intrigued* Dei, if you have thissssssu much louves on her, why don’t you go and speak up?

Him- There is no chance of this happening, ever, Meg. Rehne De, It’s okay.

Me- *Annoyed* See, don’t give up without even trying. Whatever be the issue, it can be sorted out by dialogues between families… *all such bullshit gyaan that one is filled with during such times of distress to one’s own friends*. Understood? So get off the phone, spare me and dial her damn number and tell.

Him- This problem can’t be solved.

Me-* Apdi enna problem pathi pesindrukan* Anything can be solved.

Him- Really? We are of the same gotram.

Me- *Rightu* *Speechless*

Him- Meg! Meg! Adiye!!!

Me- Sari okay. You continue ranting da. I will listen to you. *with equally glum voice*

Scene-2

Bubbling with excitement of registering on matrimony sites, she and her amma sit together to judge the profiles that the algorithm has the audacity to throw at them. Finally after swiping up ( Not Tinder guys, relax) around 50-60 guys, the one guy she likes, she tells amma that the guy looks good and the profile seems decent. Amma is excited and calls out to appa to convey the same. Our girl, opens the detailed profile and gets the shock of her life. The guy is of the same star as she is.  Amma silent. Appa dangerously silent. Girl frustrated. Case closed.

The reason why I am highlighting this is that while it seems humorous when it happens to others, it really is annoying when it happens to us. Some of us may laugh at it and move on, while some of us may not be able to take that into our heads. This may border on the concept of accepting rejection. Just that, in this case, this is nothing personal at all. It is just not meant to be. Simple.

While we can go on and on about how to face rejection and how to not take it to heart, the fact that remains is that it does hurt. At least a little, in that unknown corner of our consciousness.

I really wish it wasn’t this complicated. I really do, to all those people who got their hopes shattered and also to my dearest friend. I see your pain now. 😉 Come let us go and pray to Umaachi with an additional line at the bottom of our usual list.

What say?

 

 

Charukesi- the seductive beauty

It took only a small Facebook post to get me drowned into unending Carnatic music dosage. Thanks to Youtube, I am able to type this with this beauty of a raga doing its job in my headphones. Music is therapy, I tell you.

Some songs make you hum them for a very long time, in a loop, without any reason. There were few such songs that made me hum and remember them somewhere in my subconscious mind. All these songs had that rare quality. They were full of feel. I don’t know how many of you get this reference,but by “feel” I essentially mean that those songs were filled with bhava. They were stunningly sexy, some of them.

It was then that one of my friends introduced me to this gem. He had mentioned it was his favorite raga and that i ought to give it a try. Enthusiastic at the prospect, I listened to it and found it strike a chord instantly. I recognised it as my “that” genre of songs which I had safely collected in the deepest realms of my heart and memories.

This raga has a special quality. It is perfect to emulate any mood with this. Pranks, love, forlorn love, that pre-nuptial shyness, lust etc. You name it and Charukesi has it. Such is the beauty of this raga.

Recent songs of this raga would be nenjil nenjil idho idho from Engeyum Kadhal. Now don’t ask me if there is such a movie. Yes, that Jayam Ravi and Hansika starrer one, remember?? Gadodkaja from Pammal K Samandham is also one among those.

Charukesi is a beautiful raga that is sure to stir you up and choke you with emotions guys. Tread cautiously before drowning in the divinity of this gem.

Adamodi galadaa- Shri.Balamurali Krishna

Bits and Pieces woven to perfection by Isaignani- Charukesi

Engeyum Kaadhal- Bringing the seductress alive

Also, kindly take a look at what my friend has to say on Charukesi here

 

The Omnipresent One

Today is one of those “earmarked” days for music and here I am, trying to muster a few words up related to Music.

Music has always been a part of our lives, in one form or the other. Some of us would have the vague memories of reluctantly sitting with a teacher to learn music, even at such a young age where one cannot spell M-U-S-I-C properly.  Some of us would have been forced due to norms governed by Caste, Gender or the Community.  Anyway, this post, I shall walk you through what music means to me.

To me, it is a language. A form of expression, if I have to put it  better.  My encounter with music goes long way back. With a musically inclined family, one cannot expect otherwise.  Hence, feasting on the daily dosage of Ragams and composers (strictly Carnatic ) I grew up. Regular classes and attending concerts, they did try to hone me into an M.S.SubbuLakshmi or D.K.Pattammal. ( I know this might cause a few of you some indignance, but it is just an exaggeration and shall be taken in a light manner as it was intended originally).  I had other plans. I was lazy. I didn’t understand the value of it back then.  Now I do, though.

I began my exploration of music, because I knew that there is a lot of it out there. I began searching for alternate options like indo-western fusion, those chant types etc. Those gave me peace of mind. I loved them.

As an individual, I find it tough to concentrate on listening to carnatic concert at a stretch for an extended period of time. It is not that I despise it. I adore and revere that form of music. But it is just my nature. May be I have got an attention span the size of a sand grain. I didn’t really feel bad either. To me music was much more beyond those three hour concerts and strict tradition of Guru-Shishya.  Music was all encompassing. I saw sense in appreciating all efforts done by people who create songs/tunes. I was not up for the claim that Carnatic music was THE only form that was worth spending/investing one’s time in.

On these thoughts I would like to share a few compositions that hold a special place in my mind, which also echoes my sentiments mentioned above.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-M-MVjSPoA

This particular song is one of my favorites. Starting lines sums up my opinions, while the rest of the song is like walking on a tree lined avenue, holding the hand of that special someone, on a beautiful breezy evening.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQYnfiTl1jg

Music can be found anywhere and everywhere, anytime. It is highly relative to the situation a person is in. To a hungry person, the sound from a pressure cooker would be the ultimate symphony. For an idle, answer seeking and calm mind, even the babbling of water along the brook would be music. To each, his own.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TxbNB_zryU

Music does not have a defined format. The lullaby that a mother sings to her child, how much ever croaky a voice she might have, is music. The passionate love that happens between two souls that live for each other, with hopes and dreams of a future together is also music. It is omnipresent.

Music is more of a form of expression than art. Any feeling in the world can be explained very well in a set of musical notes than by words.  Music is in itself a drug, for it is capable of ensnaring the one who takes it, completely. Music is also its antidote.

 

music

Rules Ramanujam

jago-grahk-jago-283x300

I am pretty much a bit of a Rules Ramanujam in the house. Not exactly a stickler for rules, but consumer rights has always been my, for want of a better word, area of interest. Confused enough? Let me explain.

Scene 1

Place : Vaigai Express ( The awesome day train that runs between Chennai and Madurai, taking everybody’s life and patience out)

It was a usual journey. After a shaky nap in between a nice variety of people, I look out for some vendor who sells coffee/tea. Now, day trains in India have what is known as a pantry car. Food items are made there, fresh and hot, and sold to the passengers in the train at rates fixed by the IRCTC ( Railway Catering Corporation). As hoped for, I see a vendor and ask for a cup of coffee ( totally questionable quality and taste, but what the hell). He gives me a cup of coffee, as I had wanted and demands Ten rupees for it. I look at him with a look that could give blinking monitors a run for its money, my hands still stretched, holding the cup intact. He stresses for the money again. I don’t budge.

I have my reasons, people.

  1. The quantity of coffee given to me was nowhere near 150 ml in a 150 ml marked cup.
  2. He demanded 10 rupees whereas the price as per the rate card was seven and I had no intention of giving him a single paisa over and above that, provided I get my 150 ml of “so-called coffee”.

Exchange of glances, followed by a heated exchange of words ensued. Only after I insisted to write in the complaint book in the Pantry Car did he give me the coffee for Seven rupees.


The reason for me sharing this incident out of many other similar experiences is because, even today I was in a similar situation. I was ready and possibly better equipped this time, with voice recordings and bus number as evidence to back my claim.

We as consumers, need to stand up for what is right. We have been given certain rights which is designed to protect us from getting cheated/exploited in the process of buying and selling. Most of us would definitely have been in similar, if not identical situations. We might have let it go because we didn’t want to create a scene out there, inviting curious eye-balls and smirks. We tend to do so, inspite of the Law bestowing us with remedial mechanism and immediate relief measure too.

Standing up for one’s own rights is what the country needs now. We people, conveniently forget the areas where it makes a difference and focus on areas where something much more than mere standing up is needed. Consumer rights is a lucrative and a very effective space to insist that the Law be followed. Simple actions like being attentive to the MRP, the expiry date, the railway food items prices etc can go a long way in restoring the balance in the market. This would lead to fairplay and less number of ” Oh I got cheated, he overcharged me” wala experiences.

I have no shame in admitting that I have actually fought with vendors in the Bus stands and railway platforms for overcharging me. Every paisa that I earn is of value to me. I would spend it for legitimate purposes and not for something that is frivolous and illegal in the first place.

We, as consumers, have all the rights to insist on a bill/ insist on fresh stock if the product is sold beyond its expiry date/ if the product is of substandard quality/ ask for explanation when it is apparent that we are being overcharged etc. I learnt this from my dad. Grievance redressal mechanism such as complaint books are always there. Even the services sector like banking has a “panchayat” person called “Ombudsman” who looks into such issues.

So, Wake up, fellow humans! Stand up for your rights. Jago Grahak, Jago!

As long as simpletons exist, cheaters will exist too. ( Read in tamizh for that punch! )

Faces seen on Quora

Rant Alert.

I write this post as a rant that comes out from a seething me, have furious and half amused at the types of people I have come across on this beautiful platform called Quora. This post can very well be taken out of the realms of Quora and applied to other Social networking sites as well, but let me restrict myself to my domain.

Where do I begin? Quora is basically a question answer site which was brilliant once upon a time. These days all that I see is plain trash. Saving a few answers,thanks to those carefully chosen topics, rest all reek with desperation and pure sly.

Being on Quora for about a year and half now, I must say that I have had the fortune to meet and get to know a lot of people. Some have been awesome that I struck a chord immediately and some have been plain irritable that I had to block them for my own sanity. Over the days, I have learnt to take time and analyse people rather than confusing sense and popularity just by seeing the number of followers.

The Brilliant Ones: These people are pure awesomeness and class bundled into a soul. They make absolute sense in what they write and are sober for sure when they handle the keys,typing away to glory. Offline too, they are just the people whom you had known on Quora and they end up in making us push our limits in pursuit of something that is durable and amazing.

The Popular ones: I would say these people know how to sell themselves. They write on popular topics which are always in demand, say Dating and Relationships and are at times annoying. They usually have beautiful love stories to say and those stories usually belong to them, which would be good to read once and beyond that, it is pure pain. They manage to get the most upvotes and also garner followers.

The Sweet ones: I use this term, specifically, because there are people who sweet talk there. Giving false hopes and at times reassurance, when it is apparent that the OP ( the one who seeks the answer) has messed up big time, is their style. Where blunt truth would have opened his eyes, they would assure him that things are gonna be okay and further massage his ego.

The Pretentious ones: Ha! These are the vicious kinds who are the Holier than Thou kinds on the platform and are pure evil outside. They are manipulative/moronic/ just plain stupid. They manage to ruin many, many third parties’ lives and seek some sort of divine satisfaction out of it.

The Creeps: This is one comical type. recently I happened to spot a particular creep on Quora who had the balls to message the exact same wordings to 15-20 girls and somehow his screenshot appeared in a lot of answers by these girls. I was at a loss whether to laugh or to cry. It was apparent that he was trying the age-old Trial and Error method, but to be lazy enough to copy paste the same thing everywhere?? What was he even thinking?? No customisation/personalisation , nothing. I had a heart to ping him back and tell him,”Dekh bhai, tumse na ho paega” , but well, whatever. 😉

People are varied and I have been fortunate enough to get some real good friends from there. There have been instances when I have experienced spite and stupidity too, to the extent it got me furious. Why must people ruin it for others? Why must they desperately try to fit in? What is wrong in being the nice person that you are?

Social media has turned out to be the best medium for the attention-seeking, narcissistic souls that we are. Our lives are being measured, to an extent, by the image that we portray here. That is very clear. For how long? That, my friends, is the real question.

Eternal Conundrum

Ah, the battle of the heart. The long standing face-off between one’s passion and profession.

These are times when we see people crying out loud advising others, known and unknown, to follow their heart, to chase their dreams, to pursue their passion. In my life too, I have come across a bunch of people who have looked down upon me for having chosen to pursue what one would call a conventional, remunerative and prestigious career line than to have opted for what I am known to do a little better. What is with this contemptous  look? Why is it mandatory for anybody and everybody to “chase” their passion. Why is it compulsory for people to make their passion as their profession, which would eventually feed and clothe them? Why are people who are clear on what they want, being looked down upon with condescension?

Passion is something that we do for the pleasure it gives us, isn’t it. We feel highly satisfied when we do it. We feel high! We feel as if we have achieved something. More importantly, we feel the love when we do it. Be it music, dance or even writing. All we look for, is the feeling of happiness and may be bliss when we are at it. That momentary exhilaration is priceless.

Profession is the line of activity that we chose, for various reasons. It might not give us the high that we get when we indulge in the aforementioned paragraph. It will not give us the bliss feeling nor do we get the sense of love when we are at it. But it pays us. It enables us to pay the bills and live a decent life without being indebted to anybody. That is the reality, let us face it.

What is wrong in having a clear demarcation between one’s passion and profession. Why is it such a sin to commit? Why is it not acceptable to people when they see an individual who is clear on the above? Why is it such a big deal? Why does it earn me the title of a sinner and worse, a two faced moron who does not know how to monetize what she does the best?

It is called “passion” for a reason. It means that much to be and I do it just for the pleasure that I derive from it. Money does not matter in such cases. Really, it doesn’t. To me, it is divine and pure. It is more like spirituality. It is something very personal, the bond that I share with it.

If having two faces makes me a traitor, so be it. If having two lines of interest makes me nothing short of a mistress, then so be it. It is one’s own choice and preferences. I need my profession for I love it. I need my passion for it is one of the reasons that helps me live. Forcing me to choose love or life isn’t going to reap anything beneficial or even tangible.

So just let it be. It is not wrong. It is not a sin. It is simply a way of my life.