Disclaimer– This post is highly opinionated and a little sermonish. People with an open mind and non-judgemental view need only proceed to read the post. The post also contains objectionable language (although at well-deserving places) and slight graphic description of situations that might leave one with an unpleasant feeling in the stomach. So, people with sensitive hearts need not bother to read further. Effects born out of ignoring the above warning is not the author’s responsibility. You have got only yourself to blame for that.
You may all know that its 17 years now into the 21st century and we are here talking about molestation and patriarchy. We might deny it a thousand times , but one just cannot overlook the fact that the above mentioned items are still out there, staring at us with the same glee, if not worse, it had long back.
New year’s eve was celebrated all across the country with the usual aplomb. Parties, crackers, music, noise, liquor and what-nots decorated the celebrations. It is now almost a week past January 1st and we still have the one news item filling our super prime-time and all other mildly different versions of the prime-time. The Bangalore Mass Molestation incident*.
*For the people who have no inkling of what happened- Bangalore, known for its forward thinking in terms of cultural tolerance and acceptance bore witness to this shameful incident. When hundreds of people gathered the famed streets of the heart of Bangalore, women ended up being groped and driven mad by the crowd. Police were alleged to be helpless onlookers to the horrific incident and so were the rest of the crowd. This incident has managed to steal the thunder away from many other major issues plaguing the nation, successfully for the sixth day in a row, in the media limelight.
This post is a reflection of my thoughts over the last few days on the topic, addressed to three categories of people who need to be addressed. If you are asking me why I chose three categories, you will know in a while.
To the Gentlemen,
I know that by now you guys would be tired of trending #NotAllMen wherever possible and would be done with lamenting over the fact that no matter how much you guys try, you end up being in the taker’s side of generalization. I have a few words to tell you guys.
No matter how much you claim to be a diamond of a guy, you ended up being a mute spectator when it happened there that night. Shame on you! Even if each of you had taken up the task of thrashing one guy who had the nerve to lay a hand on women there, this would not have happened. Or at the least, it would not have been this worse. If each of you had tried to protect the womenfolk from those lecherous creeps, the women would have felt more confident and fought back. If each of you had taken it upon yourself to raise your voice when your girls complained of groping, the police would have gotten the message. The responsibility of this incident is equally upon each of you, who failed to live up to the unwritten rules of Civic behavior. Shame on you!
To the Ladies-
What do I say? You have undergone the horror first hand and are still breathing and moving around without locking yourself up. Kudos for that. In an era where tolerance and patience is undergoing a downward spiral, you ladies have lived to tell the tale. Kudos for that too. But I do have to say this.
Your body and mind is a temple. Nobody but you are the sole person responsible to keep your body and mind safe. Darling, when you know very well that you still have people with narrow minds out there, who are tharki enough to lay hands on you, who are eagerly waiting for an opportunity to violate you, shouldn’t you be safe? You also know that the authorities are helpless and, at times with the kinds of politicians we have in our midst, even useless, shouldn’t you know better that these revelries are a big stage for perverts to come out of their effing closets?
My dear One-woman Army, I am not blaming you for wearing what you did that night, for these horrors happen to ladies in burqas too. I am not blaming you for being young and beautiful and unmarried, for these things happen regardless of age. I am definitely not blaming you for wanting to go out and make merry at night, for rapes happen even in broad daylight.
All I am saying is that give your safety the top-most priority always. Nothing else matters these days, especially when you know your guy-friends and other accompanying males could become speechless all of a sudden and choose their own safety over yours. We still are not there yet, whatever we might wish to believe, the hard truth remains that we still are not there.
To the molesters-
If you really are curious as to why I did not include you in the list of “men” or “women”, then let me explain. You are neither. You are just a bunch of opportunist creeps, who prey upon unsuspecting souls and derive sheer pleasure out of it. You don’t deserve to be included in any category of human being, for that matter.
When you were so much engrossed in awarding yourself the pleasure of a woman’s body, without her consent, did you think of this? What if that other person, the victim, is not your sister/mother/wife, but you? Would you have liked to be violated that way too? On the other hand, what if the lady on the other end had had a sharp instrument or a pepper spray with her and you bore the brunt of it? How were you planning to explain your bruises and the blood to your family? Do you have a family at all??
I wish the next time you touch a woman, you get infected by the most gruesome skin disease with boils and pus all over, rendering you incapable of touching yourself let alone others. I wish the next time you rape a woman, you die of sexually transmitted diseases which might have been dormant in you all these days. I wish and pray for a painful and gruesome death to you.
Apart from the above, there is also the case of “Self discipline”. I still have a few of my friends who think it is the government’s job to “govern” them and they bear no responsibilities for nation building. I am baffled at this claim. The moment we need someone to rear us and take care of us, the care-taker becomes the shepherd and we, in turn, become sheep. What pride is there in being a bunch of animals? What pride is there in evolving downwards?? No one shall ever know.
I think the day we understand the actual meaning of “teamwork” and “unity”, that day we can call ourselves human beings. Till then, let us keep bleating our guts out to glory!