Is love a feeling, emotion or a person? Is it having someone to fall back on? Or is it that special someone, who would occupy a tiny box in the … Continue reading Modern Love and its remnants
In a musical mood/mode today, I thought of documenting some of my favorite songs here. Since I am a 90’s kid, my list would most probably cover songs that came … Continue reading Long Forgotten Songs #1
Any relationship has it own ups and downs. Given the current exposure of the world to us, we have coined several terms for the different phases a relationship goes through. Marriage is not the end of a relationship. In fact, it is the beginning of a whole new game play. The promise and commitment to be there for each other, with each other is divine and chaste. Words must essentially be fulfilled.
There will be days when everything is not hunky-dory. Negativities begin to play peek-a-boo every other day and people start drifting apart. It is the love that brought them together in the first place and the commitment that sealed the deal that come to help them out.
Here is a poem I had the fortune to read, which describes the feelings of a husband when he senses the minor fractures that had began to appear in his married life. This poem, written by one of the most talented souls I have had the fortune to meet and get to know, Vijay anna, cruises through the beautiful language of Thamizh and takes the help of literature to reaffirm his love to his lit-loving wife.
எத்துணை முழுமையற்ற ஒரு
உனக்குப் புரிய வைக்கும்
என் முயற்சிதான் இந்த மடல்!
To my dear wife,
This letter is an attempt to make you see how much inadequate is the expression ‘Dear’, in many situations.
நீ என் வாழ்வின்
எத்துணையோ இடங்களை நிரப்புகின்றாய் தெரியுமா…
மழையாய்ப் பொழியும் முகில்கள்
குறிஞ்சியின் மலைவழி இறங்கி
முல்லையின் காடுகள் நனைத்து
மருதத்தின் சமவெளி பாய்ந்து
பாலையின் பாளங்கள் ஊறி
நெய்தலின் கடலினில் கலப்பதைக்
காவியங்களின் ஆற்றுப் படலங்களில்
புதுப்பெருக்கைச் சொல்லப் புகுந்த
சிறிதேனும் புரியலாம் உனக்கு!
Do you know how important a part you are, in completing my life? Your role in my life is similar to the phases that a cloud undergoes in its journey from the state of water to rain. I urge you to witness people like Kamban stumbling to detail the journey of a rain drop, through the mountainous terrain of Kurinji, the dense forests of Mullai, the heavenly green expanse of agricultural lands of Marutham, the dry and arid trails of Palai and the deep water bodies of Neythal. You might get an inkling of the enormity of my task to give my love for you, a structure in words.
கல்தோன்றி மண் தோன்றாக் காலம் முதலான
சுடிதார் அணிந்த மாதர்கொல்?
I am very similar to the “thalaivan” portrayed in Tamil Literature. I fell for you the moment I saw you. My eyes laid the first stone to the monument of my love for you. That moment shook me – “Is she an Angel? Or a mystical peacock that is beautiful? Or is she a lady at all, for her beauty is unseen till day. My mind raced and revolted with my head with all these unanswered questions. I have never wanted answers so badly. My curiosity was testing my patience.
என் அறிவு என்னையே!
பிடித்ததும் பிடிக்காததும் அறிய
உந்தன் கைப்பேசி எண் அறிய
காதல் பற்றிய கருத்தறிய
எவனையேனும் விரும்புகிறாயா என்னும் அந்த
ஆயிரப்பொற்காசுக் கேள்விக்கு விடையறிய
என் அறிவு என்னையே!
My intelligence surprised me then, with all the ideas and strategies that I could employ to get to know you. Your name, legacy, your likes and dislikes, your mobile number, your opinion and ideas on love and finally the million dollar question that is- If you were already in love with somebody else.
My intelligence did surprise me like never before!
நாற்படைத் தலைவன் போல்
I spent months in plotting a perfect plan to conquer you, like how an Emperor would, to satisfy his thirst of expansion.
அகத்திணைகள் ஆய வேண்டிப்
புறத்திணைகள் ஆராய்ந்தேன் –
நட்பாகிச் செல்வது வஞ்சியாம்,
உட்காது எதிரூன்றல் காஞ்சி
அதுவளைத்தல் ஆகும் உழிஞை –
அதிரப் பொருந்தல் தும்பையாம்
மிக்கோர் மனம்வென்றது வாகை யாம்”
இனியவளே உனைப் பெற்றேன்!
I drowned myself in ‘Purapporul’ in order to acquire the bliss of ‘Agapporul’. I used all the possible ideas from the literature that I read and devour and finally won you, my beloved!
Note- Purapporul is a branch in Tamil Literature wherein the core idea of the contents linger over the ideas of courage and bravery. It tells us tales about the manner in which Rulers conquer and the other ruler defends his territory. The variety in this, is given the names of flowers beginning with Vetchi and ending with Vaagai. On the other hand, Agapporul is that branch of literature which deals with the emotions of the heart. Love, Lust, friendship etc can be found here.
காதலை நான் உரைத்த நொடி – எனைக்
கலங்க வைத்தாய் உன் கருத்தால்
கவிதைகளால் காலம் நிரப்பி!
காகிதத்தில் என் கவிதைகளும்
காலத்தில் என் காத்திருப்பும்
காதல் வரம் தந்தாய்
காதலியாய் உனைத் தந்தாய்…
The moment I confessed my love to you, you shook me with your reply. You were not into it, you said. I waited, filling the void I felt, with the lines I wrote for you. Trees and time went by, finally you gave consent. It was a jubilant moment for my penance, for my patience. You gave a boon, an eternal boon to me, in the form of yourself.
உன்னால் என் கவிதைகளில்
ஒவ்வொரு செல்லாய் நீ…
கால்களில் சிறகு முளைத்தன
My sorrow turned to bliss. Vows were exchanged infront of the Divine Fire. We became a single soul trapped in two bodies. You gave soul to me and my poems. You gave wings to fly, for time and for my love, to bask in the golden ray that is the sunshine.
காதலனுக்கு இருந்தததைப் போல் இன்று
கணவனுக்கு இல்லை காதல் என்று
கண்மணியே நீ குறைபட்டுக்கொள்கிறாய்
கண்ணீரால் என்மீது குற்றங்கள் சாட்டுகிறாய்!
இதோ இந்த மடல் உனக்கு…
Days went by in marital bliss. Today you lose heart saying the love has faded and I was a better lover than a husband. Oh my love, you tear me apart with your tears!
To refute your claim, I pen these words down.
ஆர்வம் சற்று குறைந்திருக்கலாம்தான்
Where the mind has known the unknown, I don’t deny that my curiosity might have waxed a little. But then, darling, there is always a next step where again we are lost, in the maze of the obscure and the unknown.
அறிதோறும் அறியாமை கண்டு
செறிதோறும் சேர்த்துக் கொள்கிறேன்
செல்லமே, என் காதலை!
I shall get that bliss similar to unraveling the mysteries of the unknown, every time I derive pleasure from you, my Love!
If not in words, in trails of time, I still am penning down poems for you. Did you not notice that?
கண்கள் சிவக்கும் உன்னைக்
கன்னம் சிவக்க வைப்பேனே!
காதுக்குள் கிசுகிசுக்கும் விடைகள்,
I shall make you go pink in your cheeks, when your eyes are red from all the tears that you shed. Is it not a poem? Those sweet nothings that we whisper in each others ears, even when there was not a word spoken before that, isn’t that a poem?
Those little tiffs that we begin, just to lose ourselves and make each other win, Isn’t that a poem? When you feel the unexplainables at the unexpected times, Is that not a poem?
இன்னும் இன்னும் இருக்கின்றன
எழுதக் கூடாதவையும் – எனக்கு
Moments of life, which take life in pieces of paper, only to be re-lived later on, isn’t that a poem by itself?
There is much more, which cannot be written, shall not be written and those which I know not how to be written.
ஒரே ஒரு நொடியின்
ஒரு துளி மௌனத்தில்
உன்னிடம் எதைச் சொல்ல?
இந்த ஒன்றை தவிர,
நான் உன்னைக் காதலிக்கின்றேன்!
What do I have to say? To you, who would burn all my words written so far, with a single glance, with your momentary silence, into smithereens.
I have nothing more to say than this- I love you, always.
Music is more a language than an art. It conveys and is capable of expressing thousands of emotions which we might not be able to express by words or actions.
While there are many ragams to be explored and drowned in, may I let the beautiful “Reethigowlai” take the stage today?
Reethigowlai is one of those ragams, which are soft by nature. Used widely to depict the emotions of divinity, love and cajoling, this ragam is a hit. Many people will be familiar with the undertones of this since this is easy to follow and sing or hum along.
Born out of the legendary “Karaharpriya”, Reethigowlai has therapeutic properties too. It is known that this ragam gives a lot of calm and clarity to the cluttered mind, when sung or heard with absolute focus.
Two of the famous compositions in this ragam is “Guruvayoorappane Appan, Sree Krishnan” and “Enna Punniyam Seideno” composed by the legend Shri Uthukadu Venkata Subbaiyar.
The piece “Enna Punniyam” rendered by Bombay Sisters, is one of my all time favorites, which soothes me to a great extent.
The Tamil filmdom is a big fan of this ragam, using it extensively to depict love and admiration of ones love and beauty.
The famous song, Kangal irandal, from the movie Subramanyapuram is weaved on this ragam.
This is one another hit song of AR Rahman, detailing the beauty of the lady by the male lead.
Another number of the same thread of reethigowlai, rendered by Shri.Unnikrishnan.
This raagam is perfect to listen to when in solitude. Just oneself, silence and some apt volume with reethigowlai playing away in its glory.
It took only a small Facebook post to get me drowned into unending Carnatic music dosage. Thanks to Youtube, I am able to type this with this beauty of a raga doing its job in my headphones. Music is therapy, I tell you.
Some songs make you hum them for a very long time, in a loop, without any reason. There were few such songs that made me hum and remember them somewhere in my subconscious mind. All these songs had that rare quality. They were full of feel. I don’t know how many of you get this reference,but by “feel” I essentially mean that those songs were filled with bhava. They were stunningly sexy, some of them.
It was then that one of my friends introduced me to this gem. He had mentioned it was his favorite raga and that i ought to give it a try. Enthusiastic at the prospect, I listened to it and found it strike a chord instantly. I recognised it as my “that” genre of songs which I had safely collected in the deepest realms of my heart and memories.
This raga has a special quality. It is perfect to emulate any mood with this. Pranks, love, forlorn love, that pre-nuptial shyness, lust etc. You name it and Charukesi has it. Such is the beauty of this raga.
Recent songs of this raga would be nenjil nenjil idho idho from Engeyum Kadhal. Now don’t ask me if there is such a movie. Yes, that Jayam Ravi and Hansika starrer one, remember?? Gadodkaja from Pammal K Samandham is also one among those.
Charukesi is a beautiful raga that is sure to stir you up and choke you with emotions guys. Tread cautiously before drowning in the divinity of this gem.
Also, kindly take a look at what my friend has to say on Charukesi here
And she hid herself behind the first object she could lay her hands on. It was the mirror that was hanging on the wall. She fervently hoped that she would be safe from the raining blows that was coming her way. She knew that pain. She knew that torment. She knew all that too well.
She was scared. For the first time in her life, she was scared. She had always had a soft spot for that man in her heart. She had always known that she was his sweet little princess. She had believed that he would never hurt her, ever. Not even when he kept beating her mommy. She always had trusted him to be innocent and naive, for he was the one who held her first, when she was born. It was him who brought her candies every other day. He had fulfilled each of her wishes. She still remembered the tight grip by which he held her hand while crossing the road. All of it ran through her mind’s eye, like a movie clip.
Things were not fine these days. She knew her mommy and daddy were fighting everyday. But she had thought it was out of love, because everytime she had asked him why he yelled at mommy, he had told her,” Darling, it is because I love mommy very much”. She had trusted him. His words.
Today it was the same old story. She had grown used to this scene of late. She had confined herself to her own world amidst all the commotion. Her world was that happy one, with her beloved daddy. Candies and happiness, smiles and funny faces, hugs and kisses filled her world. Today was just like any other day, she aloof and away, until..
“Daddy burst into the room and caught mommy by her hair. I have not seen him so much angry. May be it is because of me. Have I been a bad girl to him? Did I do something naughty that caused him trouble”? her thoughts ran wild.
In a split second, from between the gap in the curtains, she saw him staring at her. She thought his anger would fade away the instant he saw her face. That was what he had always told her. She gaped at him back with her scared, big, brown eyes. What she saw back scarred her for life.
All she could remember was he coming on to her, seething with rage. All she could do was to hide herself behind the mirror with an innocent whimper. All she could hope was that this would guard her from his fury.
She was scarred. For life. That moment defined her future for her. That moment showed the path on which she must walk.
She is now a social activist, fighting and pledging her life for abandoned and abused children. She is determined to not let any child face a trauma like she had. She cares for their innocence and well-being. Children are our future, is what she says.
When asked about her childhood, all she can remember is this incident. Her terrified life and childhood, much like the dark and deep woods as seen in the reflection.
“This Post has been submitted as my entry to
Their eyes met. Two pairs of eyes that had a beautiful bond years ago. Eyes that had spoken so many silent words with each other. Eyes that had promised to be there for each other for ever and ever.
Each pair had hundreds of thoughts. One was of questions and the other pair was of explanations and justifications for the deed.
He was happy to see her. He had been worried if she would be okay. Despite that he had had to take the decision because, to him,it was for the best in the long run. It was an exhilarating moment for him to see her now. She was finally there, at his place. So near, yet so far. Separated by ten feet yet feeling ages apart. She seemed more beautiful than he had ever known her. She seemed so much better in physique and also in spirit. Her contentment was reflecting out of her skin like an aura. She looked like the personification of brilliance.
His eyes had given it away. She knew he was delighted to see her. She understood that how much worried he was about her well-being. She realised that it was for the good and how hard it might have been for him to break away. She felt different, all of a sudden. She felt at peace. All her restlessness and curiosity gone,in a matter of moments. She found her mind to be at peace. To her, he would always be special. To her,he would always be the man whom she had loved unconditionally. To her, he would always be the person who taught her volumes about the harsh realities of the world in the shortest possible time.
He walked up to her, with a certain bounce to his steps. He couldn’t stop looking at her. He seemed to be attracted to this “new” her. He seemed to like her even more now , than he had three years back. She knew it all. It was like one of those symphonies between them. Absolutely musical without exchange of words. They were thankful for that strange absence of syllables between them. Somewhere in the bottom of their heart, they knew that speaking out would screw things up. Silence was magical, they thought.
There felt a sudden urge to hold hands for that would make up for the loss of three years. There still was hesitation, for neither knew how this would end. She wanted a solid future, he wanted his present. That was the conflict.
She retracted back, not wanting to slip again. “Not anymore” , she thought. She walked back with a jubilant satisfaction in her and with a giant shine in her eyes. She had gotten her answers. She looked up at the sky and sent her prayers.
He stood there, lost. He had never admired her like this before. He had never fallen for her like this ever before. He knew he wasn’t going to live happily after catching a glimpse of her like this. He wanted to reach out to her. He wanted her so badly in his life that he was willing to follow her like her shadow. He stood there,stunned, his gaze following her trail and his senses following the fragrance that she had left behind.