The Liberation

It was a normal day at work but for a few surprising phone calls that shook her insides.

I miss you 

His voice kept resonating in her mind. She was thinking as why he had called her after a while and after all this time. She had given him plenty of chances and even had told him that she loved him. He was not ready to listen to her then.

The past two months had been tough for her. Crying her throat out when he was dancing away in his own wedding was not a lovely sight. She did not want to remember those scenes.

She reached the parking lot of her building and started her vehicle to ride back home, while all of these reverberating in her.

I still love you

This sentence gave her the chills. This was one line that she had wanted from him forever. She had been disappointed time and again by him that she had to move on. She put an end to these distressing thoughts and plugged in her earphones and started her ride. “I have to call Amma after I reach home”, she thought, whizzing her way between scores of commuters on the road.

Kaisee teri khudgarzee
Na dhoop chune na chhaanv
Kaisee teri khudgarzee
Kisi thaur tike na paanv” 

sang the voice from the earphones. She smiled to herself thinking of the way she had come. His thoughts, his images, his impressions, everything ran in her mind that day. Her smile got better, this time with drops of tears to accompany it. She was thankful that she was on the road, with her face covered with the duppatta. She was a free soul, she knew that too well.

Re Kabeera maan jaa
Re Fakeera maan jaa
Aa jaa tujh ko pukaaray teri parchhaaiyaan
Re Kabira maan jaa
Re Fakeera maan jaa
Kaisa tu hai nirmohee kaisaa harjaaiyaa

The people in the sidewalk rushed towards her. One man collected her scattered belongings while a woman tried to make her face the sky. Many others picked out their phones to dial the ambulance. The policeman reached the spot soon and started regulating the traffic  to avoid snarls.

A gentleman from the crowd searched for her mobile to dial to her parents. He found it tucked somewhere inside her bag, connected to a pair of earphones.

Her body was still hot and her face was still wet with tears. She had left the world, forlorn, with him as her final thoughts, just as she had wished for.

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If only silence could speak

They had hit it off right away, right there. Their mutual love for music, filter coffee and subtle romance, sprinkled with right amounts of practicality and life lessons, they were one of a kind. Amidst awesome chemistry that was apparent to the crowd and to themselves, there was nothing going on between them.

They found it strange that despite being so comfortable around each other, which had crossed the acceptable threshold of friendship, they had nothing more to offer to it. He “wanted” her so badly and so did she. That kiss that they had in the shy amber lights of the room hadn’t left them. The love bite that she had got from him still felt fresh.

Was it the love for each other, present in excess of what was necessary? Or was it the lust they had for each other that had made them live this life? They didn’t know. They didn’t want to know either. They were more engrossed in living the moment than contemplating a future.

Deep down, they had immense respect towards each other. Be it career choices, families, siblings, friendships, they respected the other’s choices wholeheartedly and embraced it like a long lost friend who bumped onto them unexpectedly. They found it difficult to explain the relationship they were in. They found it unnecessary too.

Months flew by, and they ended up in opposite corners of the world, married to somebody else and living happily, their lovely pasts lying buried in the mysterious corners of their hearts.

As fate would have it, they ended up alone. Giving one’s spouse away to the cruel hands of death had not been easy for either of them. Despite fighting all odds with a brave face, both ended up in the same country, where it had all started.

A lazy check in at the bookstore had brought in lots of memories to her. Those titles that she had badly wanted was all there, in front of her eyes, beckoning her to spend a fortune on, she kept moving along the shelves. The fire of memories that were mere memories till then, began to kindle itself again. Those sweet-nothings, that love, that respect everything made her smile and walk, in a glassy demeanour.

Finding nothing exciting, she picked up an Archie comic book and strode to the counter to check out and be done with it. She had got something now to spend some time on, apart from the book she was about to pay for. Done with the billing, she walked out, onto the drizzly street.

She walked on, step by step, relishing the feel of the cold droplets of rain touching her skin. Still with her enigmatic smile on, she saw that long forgotten silhouette, walking towards her, with an umbrella. Her heart thumped, in a manner that was too familiar. He saw her and stopped in his track. He couldn’t believe his fate. Was destiny giving him a second chance? He had to decide at that moment.

They had always been messy with words. Even though he was stumped by her eloquent wordplay and she by his casual yet appealing flirting, they had not tested the power of words in serious situations. May be that’s why they had missed that earlier chance. He didn’t want to gamble. Not at that moment. Never.

He just went up to her and held the umbrella over them, stopping the raindrops from touching and caressing her smooth skin. That was his message to the skies. She was His and He, hers.

Moving forward in perfectly synchronised steps, their silence confessed everything that they had bottled up for years. It was beautiful again.

rain

Image- Pinterest.

Trippy Steps

She walked faster, for the rain drops were getting heavy. She had loads of work to get done with and was really not pleased with the mental state that she was in. Still, she had held her head high and got on with the day. It was just 22 hours back that she had put an end to everything. Tired she was.

Tired of being led on. Tired of being played with. Tired of having hopes and tired of building castles in the air. Hope is a good thing, someone had told her. She was desperately looking for that soul so that she can strangle him with a rope and make him breathe his last.

She had wanted respect. She had wanted him to treat her with respect. She had wanted clarity from his side. None of it she got. She hoped for it. She waited, in vain. It was time to end it, for her own good, she had thought. She did it.

Weeping her heart out after that, she had picked herself up. She was not the one who quits. She was the one who the world looked up to and exclaimed, “What a woman”!. She was one of such kind, who would take on a storm, head on and still come out unscathed. She was brave, or courage was her. She had slept at peace. It had been an amazing feeling, to finally come to terms that nothing was ever going to happen. She was sad, yet boundlessly happy.

The rains became heavier. She was practically midway between walking and jogging. Her bags were weighing her down. She stopped by the shop on the way to stock up on her supplies. As she turned to go, she bumped into him.

Shell shocked and slightly suspicious, she looked at him. He was all wet. He looked as if he was waiting for her to cross him that night. It was as if he knew she was coming this way. She didn’t want to see him. It was too much to take, she felt. In a gap of 24 hours, it was just too much to handle. She walked on. He called her. She slowed down.

He caught up with her, armed with the strength of her slow steps. He wanted answers. He wanted to know things. Rather, he wanted her to know things. He had also dreamt of a perfect life. Her presence in it, though, was not what he wanted to remember then.

Time was ticking and so was the sky growing dark. The forlorn path that they were walking together on, seemed to go nowhere.

I never wanted you to leave, trust me” , He said.

She stopped for a second and looked at him. A faint smile playing on her lips and her eyes glistening with the freshly made tear drops, she opened her mouth to say something. He saw a shadow falling across her face and she started to walk again.

This time he ran and stopped her. Grabbing her hand, somehow hoping his touch would convey his thoughts, he reiterated, “I never wanted you to leave.”

“You didn’t want me to stay, either”, She replied.

trippy steps

He was struck by the brevity of the line. It was probably the shortest collection of words that had made him sad. He saw her silhouette fade away in the distance, oblivious to the hurricane raging in him.

Alone he stood, with his thoughts and his helplessness,for company.