Oh the Patriarchy! Bless my soul.

Today I happened to read an answer by a very popular guy on Quora. The question was this- “If separating a man from his parents is cruelty, what about when married women have to leave their parents after marriage? “

The answer begins like this –

“That’s the way Indian society is set up. Married women leave their house, go to their in laws house and little by little take over the responsibility of most of the things so that in laws, who are growing old, can retire and be free from major responsibilities.

This isn’t cruelty. This is how the institution of marriage is designed for India.”…. and goes on for about 580 other similar words of justification.

Let me identify the basic flaw here. The justification of that is how the society is, does not really fare well with me.  Let me tell you why. Society is made up of people like us. You and me. People who make the society what it is today, may or may not be alive tomorrow and definitely not in a hundred years time. What we witness today in the name of societal norms is just what our previous generation has been forced to follow by their parents. Have we changed at all from the set pattern? May be a little, but we would agree that there is definitely a long way to go.

This answer actually goes on to justify the separation of the girl after marriage as something very normal and acceptable while the same, if done to the son, is unacceptable. The author also goes on to say that if at all the girl is a single child, then she shall very well take care of her parents and yada yada. Well, the patriarchy is giving us permission, you see.

Taking care of ones parents is the duty of every son and daughter. They could be the only child or one in a dozen. Every child has the responsibility to take care of their parents irrespective of ones own marital status. I don’t think one would require the permission of anybody else to do this. Be it the husband or the in-laws.

To adopt a family as ones own immediately after marriage and to abandon ones parents because one is married is just abominable and to ask the bride/groom to do it is pathetic. More than power or authority, this move reflects ones insecurities and rather crass upbringing/growing up.

Many things which were once accepted in the society as a norm, have been driven away successfully. People fail to see this transition and go on to bestow the mankind with their pearls of wisdom.

It is shocking to see that even in my generation there are people who take the name of culture/society to justify something stupid and could actually get away with it. Yes, the girl who offered her unflinching support by highlighting the concession given to single girl child, I am looking at you.

Quora is becoming a recipient for such butt wads and I don’t have an idea why.

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Image credits- Google

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Open Letter to the Jon Snows

What a fortnight it has been. From clocking enviable hours at work, to being subject to the verbose torture of unidentifiable “Jon Snows” in the name of writing, I have seen them all. I must acknowledge, I am not really happy with it.

This post is basically a rant. A rant in which I am going to type down my angst at being a witness for the downfall of something which was once precious for me.

TO ALL THOSE “JON SNOWS”,

jon

Most of you might know the feeling of seeing your most prized possession being thrown away from your cupboard, just because there wasn’t enough space to accommodate the newcomers. That pain and that misery is at times unbearable that we might have had to take a break from our work to actually get over it. This feels similar, if not same. 

What was once a place where I went to binge read something interesting, has become a pile of garbage. Yeah, that’s right. Utter rubbish. The place where I had gotten answers and sometimes new ideas long back, gives me nothing these days. If at all,it gives me anger and makes me seethe in rage. People who actually had stuff inside them are nowhere to be seen. People who had the “talent” to spin stories and do the job of script-writing are living a glorious life. In short, true knowledge has no takers. Period. 

Another problem that I witnessed in this process of downfall was the presence of “cartels”. For  the uninitiated, cartels means a group of individuals, who form a close knit social circle, to indulge in incessant backscratching and promotion of mediocre content. This is a very serious issue when compared to the former canker, because this promotes mediocre content and provides the creator of such content with undeserving fame and leaves the unsuspecting readers with headache and nausea.

Now as a person who has seen that baby from its early childhood to now (which might as well be perceived as adolescence), I must say that the child had a lot of potential. Only that it got trapped in the ominous web of idiocy and is slowly losing hope and succumbing to it.

I have a few pointers though, for you all. Please do not promote mediocre content. Writing is an art and there is a place for everything. And Oh! You know something? Nobody cares about how many breakups you have had or what struck your pea-brain this morning when you were having chai at the corner shop. If you say that your content helps in genuinely helping people out of their problems, then I might have to take the liberty of breaking your bubble, it doesn’t. If anything, it aggravates it. It gives them a friggin complex that you are better than them and they would want to try out what you say, all this while being blissfully oblivious of the entire scenario of what-is-whats.  If you think talking to a Just Dial executive for an hour and still not falling in love with her is a reasonable answer to the question “A girl talks to me for almost an hour everyday on the phone. Is she in love with me?” , then I have nothing to say to you. This expression of becoming speechless is not to show my appreciation at your effort at making a genuine attempt to answer the question sincerely, but it is solely at your stupidity to have made a comparison to both the scenarios. Kudos for that!

Personally, I had doubts when people told me that silence is golden.Now I get it though. To be silent is much better than to open your mouth and create hindrance. Thanks for reiterating that to me though.

From all those people who had once loved that bubbly chattery baby, I so wish you stop ruining my child. The baby was better off without you. 

And oh! Please for God’s sake stop calling yourself a Harry Potter or a Jon  Snow. It isn’t cool. For all that you know, you are ruining the childhood memories of millions out there. So please do us all a favour and stop.

– From a contributor who is sick of you all.

implore

This is the collective feeling of people who once enjoyed something and is now missing the awesomeness of it because of the irrelevant and useless stuff that is being added to it. It gives all of us great solace that the people behind this are being slowly removed, but still the danger looms, like a dagger over the head. I personally thank the people behind this Swacch Bharat act and would love to share my list with them, so that they can get working on it 😛 

Image credits- Google Ji _/\_

Reethigowlai- The Mellow Mistress, an adorable anomaly

Music is more a language than an art. It conveys and is capable of expressing thousands of emotions which we might not be able to express by words or actions.

While there are many ragams to be explored and drowned in, may I let the beautiful “Reethigowlai” take the stage today?

Reethigowlai is one of those ragams, which are soft by nature. Used widely to depict the emotions of divinity, love and cajoling, this ragam is a hit. Many people will be familiar with the undertones of this since this is easy to follow and sing or hum along.

Born out of the legendary “Karaharpriya”, Reethigowlai has therapeutic properties too. It is known that this ragam gives a lot of calm and clarity to the cluttered mind, when sung or heard with absolute focus.

Two of the famous compositions in this ragam is “Guruvayoorappane Appan, Sree Krishnan” and “Enna Punniyam Seideno” composed by the legend Shri Uthukadu Venkata Subbaiyar.

The piece “Enna Punniyam” rendered by Bombay Sisters, is one of my all time favorites, which soothes me to a great extent.

The Tamil filmdom is a big fan of this ragam, using it extensively to depict love and admiration of ones love and beauty.

The famous song, Kangal irandal, from the movie Subramanyapuram is weaved on this ragam.

This is one another hit song of AR Rahman, detailing the beauty of the lady by the male lead.

Another number of the same thread of reethigowlai, rendered by Shri.Unnikrishnan.

This raagam is perfect to listen to when in solitude. Just oneself, silence and some apt volume with reethigowlai playing away in its glory.

Faces seen on Quora

Rant Alert.

I write this post as a rant that comes out from a seething me, have furious and half amused at the types of people I have come across on this beautiful platform called Quora. This post can very well be taken out of the realms of Quora and applied to other Social networking sites as well, but let me restrict myself to my domain.

Where do I begin? Quora is basically a question answer site which was brilliant once upon a time. These days all that I see is plain trash. Saving a few answers,thanks to those carefully chosen topics, rest all reek with desperation and pure sly.

Being on Quora for about a year and half now, I must say that I have had the fortune to meet and get to know a lot of people. Some have been awesome that I struck a chord immediately and some have been plain irritable that I had to block them for my own sanity. Over the days, I have learnt to take time and analyse people rather than confusing sense and popularity just by seeing the number of followers.

The Brilliant Ones: These people are pure awesomeness and class bundled into a soul. They make absolute sense in what they write and are sober for sure when they handle the keys,typing away to glory. Offline too, they are just the people whom you had known on Quora and they end up in making us push our limits in pursuit of something that is durable and amazing.

The Popular ones: I would say these people know how to sell themselves. They write on popular topics which are always in demand, say Dating and Relationships and are at times annoying. They usually have beautiful love stories to say and those stories usually belong to them, which would be good to read once and beyond that, it is pure pain. They manage to get the most upvotes and also garner followers.

The Sweet ones: I use this term, specifically, because there are people who sweet talk there. Giving false hopes and at times reassurance, when it is apparent that the OP ( the one who seeks the answer) has messed up big time, is their style. Where blunt truth would have opened his eyes, they would assure him that things are gonna be okay and further massage his ego.

The Pretentious ones: Ha! These are the vicious kinds who are the Holier than Thou kinds on the platform and are pure evil outside. They are manipulative/moronic/ just plain stupid. They manage to ruin many, many third parties’ lives and seek some sort of divine satisfaction out of it.

The Creeps: This is one comical type. recently I happened to spot a particular creep on Quora who had the balls to message the exact same wordings to 15-20 girls and somehow his screenshot appeared in a lot of answers by these girls. I was at a loss whether to laugh or to cry. It was apparent that he was trying the age-old Trial and Error method, but to be lazy enough to copy paste the same thing everywhere?? What was he even thinking?? No customisation/personalisation , nothing. I had a heart to ping him back and tell him,”Dekh bhai, tumse na ho paega” , but well, whatever. 😉

People are varied and I have been fortunate enough to get some real good friends from there. There have been instances when I have experienced spite and stupidity too, to the extent it got me furious. Why must people ruin it for others? Why must they desperately try to fit in? What is wrong in being the nice person that you are?

Social media has turned out to be the best medium for the attention-seeking, narcissistic souls that we are. Our lives are being measured, to an extent, by the image that we portray here. That is very clear. For how long? That, my friends, is the real question.

Thinking times

This post is my answer to a question asked to me on Quora.

10 Things that I don’t like about India as an Indian.

It took me a while to frame the answer, but then I think I have summed it up well.

I am an Indian. I am happy and proud to be one too. India is a country of extremes. So like everything else , we find imperfections here also. The ten things that irritate me,as an Indian would be

  1. People who throw garbage everywhere except the dustbin. Many a times I have actually seen educated and seemingly cultured people throw wrappers and waste papers on the roads or in public places. I am a big protester of this and have on many occasions asked them to give the wrappers to me so that I can dispose them off in the proper way.
  2. I hate the apathy of people regarding traffic rules. People who talk loud about bribery and unruliness of policemen should first obey the law of the land. Breaking the law and being cheeky about it does not warrant VIP treatment. I am in no way in support of bribery but just am talking about the root cause.
  3. The adjustment mentality. I refer to a very common example. I am yet to see a chaiwala in Indian Railways who sells a full cup of coffee. We pay for a full cup but we don’t care to fight for the full cup that we pay for. Similarly, selling stuff at a price over and above the MRP. Many a times I have literally taken classes for those shopkeepers who do this. I would ask those big time protestors to begin with small issues like this. When we don’t stand up for the right thing, then we are not designated to complain about exploitation.
  4. Spitting in public. The very suave citizen on a fucking awesome high end car, lowering the window glass and spits on to the road. Such a turn off. Equally irritating is the intellectuals who spit from inside the bus through the window. Do they even care about others on the road?
  5. Pissing in public. Enough said.
  6. Talking about rights when they don’t give a damn for their duties.
  7. The obsession with how the society would perceive us and status.
  8. Donating a highly valuable diamond crown to a deity but driving away the poor child who comes to him asking for food.
  9. Reservation system in education and jobs. And then putting the blame on brain drain.
  10. The quintessential “aapko pata hei Ki mera baap kaun hei?”

 

Sigh, so much for ranting eh??

Unity redefined :) #ChennaiRains

This piece below is an answer to a question asked to me and a bunch of other Chennai-wasis about the floods,the day the rains started lashing the coast. This is how it was as on December 2nd,2015.

It is bad.

You know how it feels when the place you have lived and loved all through your life gets submerged in water? It is inexplicable.

I have never heard or been in such a situation in Chennai before this. It has been raining for the past 24+ hours non-stop and Chennai is completely isolated from other parts of the State. All the entry and exit points have been cut-off and the rail and air terminus have been shut down. Trains and flights have been cancelled and the only mode of transportation that is still plying is the bus. That is unreliable and dangerous too,given the circumstances.

We have the Indian Army deployed here for the relief work and the forecast for two more days from today looks grim. Houses in the ground and first floors are flooded and people have taken shelter in high rises.

The magical part of all these is that We are still alive and thriving.

Chennai twitter is abuzz with help pouring in,not from anywhere else, from the Chennaiites themselves. More than 3000 people have opened up their homes, hotels,offices etc to provide shelter to those who are stranded. Many people have come forward to recharge the phones with a small amount so that they can get in touch with their families and loved ones and assure them about their safety. Scores of people have offered to cook a meal for the needy and services of picking those meals are under way. Several Star hotels have prepared food packets for the people and are looking for help to distribute it to those in need. Malls and cinema theatres have been magnanimous enough to offer to accommodate people for free.
So yes, we are alive and surviving.

It is a very tough situation in Chennai right now. This is the second spell of rains lashing the city in less than a month’s time and trust me we are struggling. But, we are also helping and reaching out to people in whatever small ways that we can. I have heard and seen pictures of common people giving packets of biscuits and other eatables to the Traffic cops and the Bus drivers who are working their asses off to ensure that the people are safe.

Sadly, we had to put in lots of efforts to inform our counterparts in the other parts of the country through media like Facebook and Twitter since, well, the National Media has other important things to cover and publicise, like the Sheena Bora Murder case and How Rahul Gandhi had the nerves to speak in The Parliament.

We have observed the spirit of Brother-hood from the Mumbaikars in similar situations and I am so proud to say that we are implementing that darn well too.

We are gonna survive this and come back stronger than ever. We are waiting for the rains to subside a little so that we could be back on track at the earliest.